If I were to tell you I am an Evangelical Catholic, you might think it was an oxymoron. But truth can be stranger than fiction. In fact, I grew up a Missouri Synod Lutheran, and never thought I would be anything but that. But my life took an unexpected turn.

During my first semester of college at the University of New Mexico, I met and fell in love with a Catholic young man named Brent. I knew that one day we would get married and that when people decide to marry, it is not all that unusual for one to convert to the other's faith. But that is not the way it happened for me. I had no intention of becoming Catholic, and thought instead that eventually I would be successful in converting Brent to Lutheranism. After all, that had happened with a couple of the uncles in my family - why would it be any different for me?

But I was curious about Catholicism. I had a lot of misconceptions about their beliefs. Brent was very educated about his faith, so he passed on his knowledge to me. Even though this cleared up my misunderstandings and did a good job of explaining the reasons behind Catholic doctrines, it had no effect on my desire to remain Lutheran. Why would I change? The Catholics could believe as they wished. I was happy in my church.

Often times Brent would go to Confession, and I'd tag along and wait for him. I asked him about it, and he explained that Catholic priests claim to speak on behalf of Christ when they announce your sins to be forgiven. It grew on me. I wanted to hear the words, "You are forgiven," with my own ears. Then I thought that the closest thing I would get to hearing those words from Jesus would be to hear them from someone trying to represent Jesus. So, I asked Brent to take me to Confession.

Brent wasn't sure if I was allowed to go, since I wasn't Catholic and wasn't planning to be. But he took me anyway, and explained the situation to the partially bemused and baffled priest. After the entire line of people went through confession, I went to take my place - only to find the priest emerging from the confessional and beckoning me to meet elsewhere. He was a kind, endearing man with a sweet face. He told Brent, presumptuously, that I wasn't seeking confession - just counseling. And yet he engaged me face to face, which evidently is required for a first confession. He took me into the cry room at the church and sat me down.

I'm sure he was quite shocked when the floodgates opened. I had a lot of sin for which I still carried the guilt and shame. I dumped it all before him, and he realized immediately I was giving a genuine confession. He gave me the sacrament. The moment I heard the words of absolution (e.g. "...I forgive you of your sins, in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit"), I was filled with the Holy Spirit.

Because I had never had a spiritual experience like that before, I didn't know what was happening to me. All I knew is that I didn't want to leave the church. I sat down in the pew for a few minutes, but the priest approached us and said it was time to lock up. So, I was forced to go. Then Brent asked me how it went, but I said, simply, "Not yet."

In Brent's car, I sat staring off into space. Brent said it looked like I was either going to burst into joyous laughter or tears. When we got back to his apartment, he asked again how it went.

Finally I erupted in an effusion of joy. The desire to sing hymns of praise came over me. I began singing Christian hymns that I knew from my childhood. It became clear to me that I was experiencing the Holy Spirit. I (errantly) concluded that the Holy Spirit was exclusively for Catholics, and that they must be the One True Church. I decided that moment that I'd become a Catholic.

I had taken my first steps on an unpredictable, amazing journey - and I never could have predicted what happened next.

• Begin standing with feet hip bone distance apart and weight centered on all four corners of the feet. Sit down like you would in a chair.
• Maintain strong abs, engaging the transverse abdominus muscles by imagining you have a corset/weight lifting belt on, and you are cinching it tighter.
• Press your ribs back towards an invisible wall behind you.
• Roll your shoulders back and bring your hands to heart center in Anjali Mudra (Prayer Hands).  
• Gaze forward. Breathe.

Some things to remember:

You can adjust how low you sit down to your capabilities, as long as you do not bend the knees greater than 90 degrees.

To make the pose more challenging, try coming up onto the balls of the feet or letting the weight come back into the heels and lifting the toes.

Our Master did not lead a life in the comfort zone. He did not fit in to any mold already established: he was neither a Pharisee nor a Sadducee, and loved sinners but never sinned. In this way, Christian yoga teachers emulate our Lord. We do not fit into pre-established molds: we are not a fully accepted part of the yoga nor the Christian communities. There are those in both communities who understand the value of practicing yoga as a Christian spiritual discipline, and so support us. But you might be surprised at the venom that can sometimes come our way.

A few days ago, I looked up "Christian yoga" on YouTube.com and found a video called: Christoga - Christian Yoga. It is a short advertisement for a Christian yoga video. It is amazing the reactions it elicited.

Some claiming to represent yoga said:

• "Here's another example of how Christians take someone else's hard work and steal it and then slap their name on it."
  
• "Yoga is stretching. If you hallucinate while you're stretching, well, that's a different issue."
  
• "I find it sad that people are associating yoga with religion, yoga is just a vehicle for worship and wellbeing not a religion, if it was a religion you would have less people practicing it."
  
• "You see many religious people have been sucked in to this new false belief that it's ok for a Christian to practice yoga... the two don't and never will mix... one does not support the other...if religious people do actually support yoga then they themselves have been deceived... simple as that."
  
• "Great... let's take two of the world's richest spirititual traditions and combine them to make money from ignorant western retards!!! This is soooo sad. I'm a Hindu... stop abusing my traditions you western imperialists."
  
• "The creators of Yoga - Hindus - did not label it and gave it free to this world but now @#$%^&* Christians using words like Christian Yoga????"
  
• "Christians are like dogs. They need to pee on everything to mark their territory. Predatory culture!"

Some claiming to represent Christianity said:

• "First ask yourself what is yoga, what do the different poses represent... Yoga is in itself a belief system as yoga doesn't follow God's teachings [so] it should be pretty simple...Christians are told to not practice anything from different religions it's as simple as that."
  
• "Christians should not be involved in yoga. It is a form of spiritual meditation. Anything spiritual that is not of God is demonic. What a huge deception this is. It would be the same as getting involved in witchcraft and then calling it Christian witchcraft."
  
• "YOGA MEANS: DIVINE CONNECTION. CONNECTION WITH A GOD. THE ONLY WAY TO CONNECT WITH GOD IS TROUGH "JESUS CHRIST" IF THERE IS [AN]OTHER WAY, THEN MY FRIENDS HE DIED IN VAIN! WAKE UP YOGA, NEW AGE RELIGION IS THE SECRET DOCTRINE OF LUCIFER!"
  
• "Wow, I guess you can't be a born again spirit filled Christian...because if you were you would recognize straight away that some spiritual practices are forbidden and are also dangerous... maybe you should pick up a Bible and read it.... you may learn something..."
  
• "The two women look rather like some Oprah Winfrey educated new age temple prostitutes [rather] than Christian women."
  
• "What planet are you on? Because it's not Earth.... You obviously aren't a born again Christian.... that part is obviously clear... If you have any brains the answers you got would tell you stop."
  

As with any proposed idea, two common causes of resistence are fanaticism and misinformation.  I cannot address fanatics, since fanatics are emotionally attached to the outcome of a debate and feel threatened by the idea of considering positions other than their own. But to remedy the problem of misinformation, I'm taking time to write this post.

What is yoga?

Like meditation, Yoga is a spiritual discipline. Yoga combines three practices: breathing exercises, meditation/contemplation, and physical postures. Yoga originally began with more emphasis on meditation and less emphasis on postures. The practice of yoga dates as far back as 5000 BC. It predates Hinduism, Jainism and Buddhism, but it has been adopted by all of these religions. Like other spiritual disciplines (i.e. prayer, fasting, etc.), it can be used in any religious context, and does not belong to any one religion. Hatha yoga, which are the postures, can be removed from a religious context altogether and be used solely as a form of exercise. In fact, that often happens in cases where organizations are trying to appeal to a large, general demographic, like gyms and fitness clubs.

What is Christian yoga?

Christian yoga takes the breathing exercises, meditation and physical postures, and adds in Jesus Christ. The Bible is read throughout, personal witness is given and Christian or instrumental music is played. Christian yoga begins in prayer, and its aim is the worship of and contemplation of the Triune God. There is nothing about it that diverts in any direction away from Christian doctrine or devotion. It is instead a unique way to "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength" Mark 12:30.

Why do people object to Christian yoga?

From the yoga camp:

Although yoga predates the religions which have adopted it by at least 1500 years, nevertheless practitioners of those religions will sometimes object to it being adopted by Christianity. This is understandable, since it has been part of their religious tradition for as much as 3,000 years! In some cases, this can lead to feelings of their faith being trampled upon by ours, whether or not they are aware that yoga is something that predates them. But this is not a universal reaction. In most cases, people are more open-hearted about it, and indeed, yoga has often been called, "India's gift to the world." BKS Iyengar, the founder of the Iyengar yoga school, stated in his book, Yoga: The Path to Holistic Health, "Yoga is for everyone."

From the Christian camp:

In a lot of cases, fear and ignorance lead people to reject yoga. Because yoga is practiced by other religions as a spiritual discipline, it can sometimes be misunderstood to be a religion in itself. Yoga is as neutral as meditation, prayer or fasting - three other disciplines practiced across many religions - and can be applied as easily in a Christian context. But, thankfully, as the years pass and it becomes more clear that Christians who practice yoga are not harmed by it, this fear is dissipating. It also helps that doctors and other authorities are now recommending yoga for its health benefits to their patients. This has added substantially to its acceptance in the West.

It is true that in rare cases, when you enter a non-Christian yoga class, you may encounter philosophies that disagree with Christianity. This is because of the history and traditions being passed down by that particular teacher or studio. It may surprise you to know that the teachings can vary substantially from studio to studio, or sometimes from teacher to teacher within the same studio! But with Christian yoga, there is no room for anti-Christian thought. If you enter a Holy Yoga class, you enter a class led by Jesus and for Jesus. Brooke Boon, founder of Holy Yoga, summarizes it well:

I have attended non-Christian yoga classes at many studios of differing schools of thought. I rarely encountered teachings against my Christian beliefs, but if I did, I ignored them, and instead lifted up my practice as a gift to my Savior. If any chanting went on, I would chant to myself, "Jesus, Jesus" instead. Still, I obviously wished for a yoga practice that was free from such distractions.

When I discovered there was such a thing as Christian yoga, I was elated, since I had been using my yoga as a prayer to our Lord for years prior. Yoga has always been a way for me to contemplate my God and abide in his Spirit. With yoga, Jesus has guided me towards physical health, which had previously eluded me. My body is the temple of his Spirit, and my soul longs to be still and know him. In both ways, Jesus uses my spiritual discipline of yoga to heal, strengthen and mature me. It has been one of the most significant blessings in my life.

I believe Christ himself not only approves of Christian yoga, but called me and those in my ministry to teach it. In each and every Christian yoga class I have taken or taught, his promise has been demonstrated: "For where two or three gather together as my followers, I am there among them” Matthew 18:20.

Hindsight is 20/20. And when I stand where I am now, holding the hand of my Savior, and look back over the landscape of my life, I can see clearly his constant call to me to be authentic. It is not the only call he has sent me, but it has been a never-ending theme. Why? Because it does not come naturally to me.

I was born a peacemaker. It doesn't sound bad; in fact, when Jesus preached his Sermon on the Mount, he said, "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called children of God" Mat 5:9. But like any good gift, it can be twisted.

Peacemakers have a tendency to be sacrificial in nature. My life is a story of endless occasions where I let myself become the door mat in order to keep the peace. Peacemakers also believe in the value of others, but can forget their own value. In my case, I have defined myself by how others view me for as long as I can remember. The result? Little to no self-esteem, broken-down or destroyed personal boundaries, and an identity that is so small and so lost within that it can barely be heard.

My greatest struggle with authenticity is also my most recent one. It was ten years long, but for a good reason. Now that Jesus has thrown me a line and dragged me from that quicksand, I can stand beside it, breathe and know without a doubt that authenticity is a gift I will cling to and cherish for the rest of my life.

The date was September 9th, 2011. Two days before the terrorist attacks on our nation. My husband, three-year-old daughter and I crested the final hill that began our first descent into the Valley of the Sun. After sixteen hours of travel, we had arrived with our U-Haul truck and little sedan. It was the twilight hour, and the view was breathtaking. All around us, like silent, still sentinels, saguaro cacti stood watch as we passed, backlit by a glowing horizon. I immediately fell in love with the unique beauty of this dry yet thriving land.
I was unaware, however, that the people I was about to encounter were formed from the same mold: harsh yet attractive, covered in thorns yet lovely to behold.

We had come from humble beginnings, as most young married couples do. After scrimping and saving, we had purchased our starter home in Colorado Springs, Colorado only a few years prior. It was an old, tri-level house flanked by a busy street and overlooked by a squadron of electrical towers. But its backyard was an oasis with a big wooden deck, and inside it had hardwood floors and enough space for us to rent out a few of the basement rooms. When we were in the backyard, I'd pretend that the constant noise of the traffic was merely the waves of the ocean. I tried to ignore the car fumes and my anxiety about living so close to such a thick collection of electric wires.

But Colorado is cold, and my husband had grown up on the Eastern beaches of sunny Florida. He is known to say, "Snow is God's way of saying, 'Don't live here.'" So, when the Tech bubble burst and my husband's employer shut the doors on the Colorado Springs branch, we decided to move to warmer climes. Since we had family in Phoenix, it seemed the natural choice.

Once the decision had been made, and we made temporary living arrangements in the small suburb of Anthem, I began to do internet research. Anthem was a new development at the time, at the northern-most tip of the Phoenix metropolitan area, and it boasted that it had the makings of a perfect American home town. It was chalk-full of amenities: a community center with classes, a gym, pools, parks, hiking and running trails, a lake, beautiful homes and just enough distance from the city to feel safe. It even had a more up-scale gated community with a country club.

When I visited the Anthem internet site, I was sucked in. I looked at the model homes, pictures of the parks and the smiling people looking so put-together. I wanted to be one of them. Soon, I had picked out the home floor plan I wanted. They had pictures of every room on the site, so I'd go through the different rooms again and again. My humble home grew very unpleasant to live in. I couldn't wait to move to paradise.
But paradise did not bid us a warm welcome. Two days after we arrived, September 11th hit, and it left me and the rest of the country in utter shock. And then, as if to mourn the loss of so many people, the sky rained and rained and wouldn't quit. It didn't care that it was raining over a desert. For days, it poured.

Even though I knew that all of those events had nothing to do with me, I was left with the feeling that a curse had descended. It was like I was in a surreal nightmare. One minute, I was living a normal life in Colorado, the next, I was in a very unfamiliar place and horrendous things were happening. September 11th had placed a strange hue on my life, and I wasn't sure if the world was safe anymore.


That discoloration remained as I tried to plug myself into the community. I made "friends", but if there is anything a people-pleaser is good at, it's reading vibes. I felt tolerated, but not "one of the group." Secretly, I was being looked down upon. I grappled with what the cause of this might be. Finally, I decided I wasn't put-together enough. So I studied my friends, and emulated them.

The first thing I noticed is that their homes didn't look lived-in. They were replicas of the model homes in the community. They were clean and orderly, and ready at any moment for a camera crew to arrive and feature them in a home decor magazine. These people had children, but you couldn't tell. And the last thing they'd ever want is surprise guests.

Back in Colorado, my friends and neighbors didn't mind you stopping by unannounced for a visit. In fact, if the garage was open, you could waltz right on up to the garage door and knock as you entered. In Anthem, the garage doors were never left open, and no one arrived without plenty of warning. Otherwise, how could you keep up appearances?

So, I got hold of some basic decorations and cleaned up a little more. But I still didn't fit.

Then I observed that the way I dressed still placed me as a college student. These women even had a designer look to them if they were out jogging. Their hair had the perfect, just-out-of-a-salon amount of highlights and lowlights. Their nails were fake, and their toes regularly pedicured. They wore big, clunky jewelry and carried Coach or Gucci bags. They were money from their heads down to their toy dogs.
So, I went shopping at Ross, and tried to find inexpensive clothes that looked like theirs. I felt uncomfortable and stuffy, but maybe it would make the bad vibes go away. Not a chance.

My exploration turned towards the way I raised my child. Perhaps they thought I was a bad mother. After all, they all did cute crafts with their children, enrolled them in a wide array of extracurricular activities, tried to teach them to read and do math while they still wore diapers, and stood in line overnight to get them into the choicest schools. None of them sat on the couch and watched the Little Mermaid for the fiftieth time that day like I did with my daughter. They had their children's days filled with educational or physical activities. None of them surfed the net while their kid ran around and played. Perhaps I wasn't involved enough.

Truly, I don't think I was. This was an area where I needed improvement. But the happy medium was more where I needed to be, a balance of her needs and mine, rather than the extreme to which they had taken motherhood. And even with increased involvement in my daughter's life, I did not gain acceptance.

I couldn't think of anything else to fix. I began to believe that the problem was me. Social awkwardness was something I had always struggled with. I thought I had gotten past it when I was in college. Perhaps I hadn't. Perhaps I couldn't. Perhaps they would never accept me, because deep down, I just wasn't good enough for them on a level that I couldn't change.

I felt like I was back in high school, being rejected by the popular kids. I had always wondered where those perfect-looking, snobby, successful jerks had gone after graduation. Apparently, my growing jadedness told me, they went to Anthem, Arizona.

Now, don't misunderstand me. I know that Anthem is a big community and I should not make sweeping generalizations.  However, my feelings arose from the specific people I encountered there.

By this time, their tolerance of me was beginning to fray. You can only put up with a loser hanging around in your circles for so long. It was time to show me some rejection, and get me to leave.

Ugliness started to come out of their mouths instead of the usual waves from their body language. The worst example was when I was sat down by one who informed me that my husband (who they liked) was going to become an executive someday. And I was "just not executive-wife material". I was told that most likely, when my husband realized that, he would divorce me.

This outright negative treatment came at about the six-month mark, along with the worst Christmas of my life. After that, exhausted from my efforts to please people who couldn't be pleased, I took a vacation and went home to Colorado to visit my parents. The difference in the atmosphere between the two places was quite concrete. It was like a heavy weight had been lifted. Colorado, the place I had been so anxious to leave, suddenly felt like it was paradise.

I explained to my parents what had been going on. They said they'd be willing to help us out financially for a while if we wanted to find a new community to call home.

So we did. I made the arrangements over the phone with my husband, who had stayed in Anthem because of work. Within three days of returning to Anthem, we had packed up and made our escape into an apartment in North Phoenix.

Or at least, I thought we had. As it turned out, those women followed me in my head. And so did my new addiction to beautiful things. I could not be happy living in an apartment, and spent the next few years miserable as we tried to get out of debt and save up for a home.

I started to watch HGTV and shows like "What Not to Wear" so that I could learn the ins-and-outs of acting and appearing to be someone I wasn't. I learned how to pronounce "Versace." I kept my house picked up and began to stress if it looked at all lived-in.

My children were well-groomed and I enrolled them in activities. I even stood in line to get my daughter into a charter school, and drilled her on her alphabet and numbers so she could qualify for the kindergarten.

I felt judged everywhere I went. When I saw put-together, beautiful women, I imagined they took one look at me and all my flaws were before them. I tried desperately to fit in, even going so far as to study their social interactions. They loved to greet each other with high-pitched voices, they never openly admitted that anything in their lives was less than perfect, and they always carried themselves with confidence and grace.

But I got better at it. We moved from one apartment to another, and then finally into our second home. It was small, but beautiful. It had tile throughout and a swimming pool. The previous owners had done good work with the premises. And the neighborhood was nice. Everyone took pride in their homes and kept them up. I could pretend to be a snob here.

We plugged ourselves into our new community. We found a church, and I joined the mom's group. The people at the church were beautiful, and they reminded me of the people in Anthem. Some of them gave me that same vibe, but surprisingly most of them did not. Perhaps these pretty people would like me. Perhaps they couldn't see my flaws. I began to try and please them.

This erasing of myself lasted a full decade after my initial move to Arizona. God had been whispering to me that my worth was not found in such shallow appearances, but in the blood of his Son. And I thought I believed that. But deeper down, my life was controlled by a lie, and my dignity was dying. I desperately looked for any sign of approval from other women in my circles. Anything that showed they thought I was like them, that I was one of them.

In January of 2011, Satan, the enemy of my soul, made a huge miscalculation. I went under what I believe was a spiritual attack. I felt like I had once as a painfully shy child. My home was the only place that felt safe. For two months, I retreated from the world and lived in fear of rejection. I didn't go to any social events. My thoughts were constantly anxious and I created mountains out of every molehill. This was not long after God had called me to teach Christian yoga. And so I was warned by the teaching team that something like this may happen. If you decide to give your life to the work of God, the enemy doesn't like it. Once I figured out what it was, it dissipated.

But it had taught me what the origins of my fears are. It taught me that I was far from living in the freedom of Christ. I explained to my husband how I wasn't sure who I was. I had spent so long trying to be someone else that I didn't know who Amy Arias was anymore. I knew that my years in Phoenix had changed me. I wasn't the same young mother with one child. I now had four. But what did I like? What did I want to wear? What was important to me? What did I dream of? Who was really my friend? I had to spend the following months answering those questions. I still am answering them today.

In October that same year, I went to the yoga retreat that finished up my training with the Holy Yoga Foundation. During that retreat, Jesus did amazing work in my life. One of the core team members asked us if we believed we had dignity and the word hit me like a slap in the face. As the word reverberated off my ear, it broke the curse that had been placed on my life since entering Phoenix. For so long, I had lived in a harsh desert of enchanting beauty that had been very unkind to me. Now, Jesus had shown me how to love myself, how to be myself, and how to be loved by him. He had torn the veil that was discoloring my life. The desert was no longer unsafe. It was a place to spread his hope; a place to love his people.

And the irony is, I feel more accepted by people now that I have started believing in my dignity. People actually like the real me. Who knew?
Even if they didn't, does it matter?

So far in the Body Bag series, we have been laying a firm foundation. We have established that a love of ourselves, neither inflating nor deflating our importance, is commanded in Scripture: "Love your neighbor as yourself" Luke 10:27b. We have affirmed that care of the body is an essential element in obeying that command, since the body is not only a part of ourselves, but also a God-breathed creation and the temple of the Holy Spirit. We have practiced awareness of the world around us and soaked up the blessings it offers with our five senses. This awareness led us to a heart full of thanksgiving for the richness of the life God has provided us, and the wonderful bodies he has given us so we can experience that richness. The foundation is indeed set. Now we are ready to build upon it.

To bring physical health to the body, we must listen to its voice and understand its relationship with the other voices vying for our attention. The body has needs. It needs rest, it needs good food, it needs to move and be active. Our first job in falling in love with our bodies is to listen to and meet those needs.

When a baby is born, it has only one way to convey it's needs: by crying. At first, the mother and other caretakers may be confused as to what need is being expressed. But, because of their love and compassion for that child, because of their awareness of what a precious gift it is, they take special care in deciphering the cries. It does not even occur to them to do otherwise. Soon, they know what the baby will want next before it makes a single sound!

Our bodies are the same. As we first turn our awareness to them, and listen to what they are saying, we may not be able to decipher clearly the need. Sometimes, a want may be taken for a need, like when we crave sugar. But as we grow in understanding, we become able to anticipate and meet the needs efficiently. And an incredible thing begins to happen. We feel love and compassion in our physical self that starts to translate into a love for the whole self.

But we are not simply bodies. We are also minds, hearts, and souls.  If you only listen to your body, and think that dieting and exercise alone will make you whole, you will find yourself unable to achieve it. How can we bring complete physical health to a body whose mental health or emotional health is broken?

Each of these aspects has its own voice and set of needs. Although we make clear distinctions between these "parts" of ourselves, the reality is much hazier. What we choose to think about affects our emotions, which in turn affects our physical health and the state of our souls. If we bury our emotions, block our thoughts, and ignore our souls, we end up with disease in our bodies. We cannot separate the elements which make us up. If you want physical health, you must go for whole-person health.

We also run into another problem, and that is our humanity. I heard said once, "Statistically speaking, three out of three people are broken." We are not perfect. Our souls are tarnished with the taint of sin, and that taint spreads to affect the whole self. And when we try to achieve whole-person health by relying on self-help books, yoga gurus, self-actualization classes and the like, we will never get there.
So how do we become whole?

The Great Physician himself, the one who commanded us to love our neighbor as ourselves to begin with, preceded that command with an even more important one: "He answered, ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’" Luke 10:27a. Notice that the command includes every aspect of the self. When you love God with all you are, the healing begins. Listen to this verse from Mat 13:15:

Of course while wholeness in Christ of mind, body, heart, and soul is the basis of well-being, it is still not a gaurantee of health. Many have pursued Christ with their all, and have still encountered tribulation in such things as diabetees and cancer. We must always remember that while we are not to be of the world, we are still in the world - an occupational hazard indeed. Our modern life bombards us with substances and physics (e.g. electomagnetics) having consequences we still do not understand. But the principles of wellness apply even if our health greatly deteriorates. We are all destined one day to die (Hebrews 9:27), which means we must approach any deterioation with the same balance of mind, body, heart, and soul that we sought while in health. No matter what, in Christ we have the peace that surpasses all understanding (Phil 4:7).

So what happens when we turn to God? He heals us. What happens when we don't? We cannot be healed. Through the sacrifice of his Son, he cleanses all souls who believe. And then, step by step through the work of his Spirit, he reclaims our whole health. With him, we can bring resolution and peace to the troubles of our past. We can bring trust in to replace our fear of the future. We can undo what sin has done to our now. As he burns away what is not us, he leaves behind what truly is us. Consider the story of Moses: 

Moses had the awesome experience of seeing the burning bush, of encountering the Spirit of God. You have the awesome experience of being the burning bush. When you accept Christ as your Savior, you become the dwelling place of God's Spirit. Just like the bush, it sets you aflame but never consumes you. Because you are God's temple--his burning bush--anywhere you walk is holy ground.

But being on fire is a purifying experience. Our God, in his great love for us, works ceaselessly to grow us into Christlikeness. Consider these scriptures:

The more open we are to letting God move in every aspect of our being, the more purification can take place. Sin and its effects can be eradicated. Let no part of you be left out. Open every door you've locked to the different and various skeletons in your closets.
When we give him our whole self, we find that what we receive is a whole self in return: "Then Jesus said to his disciples, 'Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it'"  Mat 16:24-25. By being dedicated fully to him in love, his purpose is fulfilled in us: "I came that they may have life and have it abundantly" Jn 10:10b. He delivers us from the reign of sin in every way:

• Mentally, so we can, "take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ" 2 Cor 10:5.
  
• Emotionally, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest" Mat 11:28.
  
• Spiritually, "So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed" John 8:36.
  
• Physically, "Your body will glow with health, your very bones will vibrate with life!" Prov 3:8. (MSG)
  

So, love yourself as you would your neighbor: Live within your body, and soak up the richness of life. Listen to its voice: feed it what brings it ease, clothe it comfortably, give it adequate rest and love it by moving it. The results of the neglect up until now will begin to be reversed. And most importantly, do it all in the power of the living, breathing God, who will work in you to heal you. Practice his Presence. Listen, abide and obey, for without him, "you can do nothing" Jn 15:5. Until which day you are whole, and he sends you forth to tell the world about the good he has done in you, saying:

"Go, for your faith has healed you" Mark 10:52.

Now that I've explained that it takes living life with awareness to live it abundantly, it only makes sense that I teach you how to attain awareness.

It will help you to know that you've already attained it, on several occasions. Anytime you are fully in the moment, you are living with awareness. Very stimulating experiences will sometimes capture our complete attention, whether they are positive or negative. If you have ever witnessed the birth of a baby, for instance, you probably were not lost in thought at the moment that that new life entered the world. It is enthralling. Take your memory of any significant event in your life, and you will be able to see it in your mind's eye and recall it's vivid nature. But even insignificant events can be experienced in this way. It's only a matter of practicing awareness, and you will be able to call yourself back to the now at will.

My husband is fond of saying, "There are two inscriptions on the temple of Delphi: 'Know Thyself' and 'Nothing in Excess'." (What's ironic is that he quotes it so often that he is doing it in excess!) And there's a good reason he likes those inscriptions: a wellspring of wisdom is found in those two simple lines. Before you become familiar with what it means to be aware, know yourself. No one is capable of living in the now and never getting lost in thought. So, be easy on yourself. Your mind is not the enemy. It's part of your life just as much as any other member of your body or moment in your journey. Yet, it can have a tendency to want to take over. And that's where "Nothing in Excess" comes in. If there is anything our mind wants to do in excess, it's think. Not that I have anything against thinking. It is most definitely what our minds should be doing. But life is not only about thinking.

There are many options here. Some people find they come into focus by exercising. Some by thinking through a challenging problem. Some by prayer, or meditation. Some by adrenaline rush. They may not realize that their experience has a name--awareness--but they are addicted to the activity that brings it to them. When they do it, they feel more alive.

Below is a Christian meditation I have put together to help you become more aware. Note that meditation has always been a spiritual discipline of the Christian church. Meditating on scripture or being still and resting in God are both valid forms of Christian prayer. If you practice the following, it will help you become familiar with what it feels like to have a calm, quiet mind. Then, whenever you think of it, come back to that calmness and allow yourself to be immersed in your present experience of life.

It helps to remember the word BLISS. B is for Breathe. L is for Let your thoughts float by. I is for Investigate how your body is feeling and the emotions you brought with you. S is for Sense the world around you. And the last S is for Send up prayer, inviting God into the experience.
Equipped with a tool that helps you practice awareness, you can now go out into the world and experience it fully. But there is an entire world within you calling out, begging you to notice it. Are you aware of the different voices of the self vying for your attention? How do you take a body whose voices have been stuffed, ignored and stifled for so long, and allow it to live the life abundant? How do you fall in love with it? Let's go inward, let's dig deep.

It's a whole new world.

To have a healthy relationship with your body, first you must realize that your body is not just a bag of bones. It is a home for your soul connected by the portal of your consciousness. It is a God-breathed being and a temple of the Holy Spirit. It is the warm, safe womb in which your eternal self grows and develops, until that day it is birthed into life everlasting.

Because our body is temporary, I made the mistake of thinking of it as being unimportant. In fact, I wrote off the whole world that way. My thought was that unity with God in everlasting bliss was my goal, and I just had to hang out here in this mortal body bag until death came around to bring me to where the real party was.

This is a common pitfall in Christianity. It's easy to take the Christian teaching of how one should focus on God and store up our treasures in heaven, and twist it until the blessings that God is showering on us here are not even noticed.
 
Jesus said, "I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly." Jn 10:10b

He didn't mean that we'd only have an abundant life in heaven. If he meant that, he would have said that. He meant, rather, that a life lived in relationship with God can be a life lived abundantly. So why are we not taking advantage? Why are we not seeing the richness around us? Where is this life abundant that he promised?

Perhaps it is in front of our faces and we're not noticing. In order to help you notice, I have compiled a list of sensations for you.

Stop what you are feeling.
 
Go through the list slowly, and after each entry pause and recall the richness of the sensation.

• The island of a warm drink in the sea of a cold morning.
  
• The compulsion to tears and convulsions of the belly as someone tickles you.
  
• The gentle caress of a cool breeze lighting up the sweat on your body like prickles of ice.
  
• The exhilarating shock and complete embrace of a pool of water when you jump in.
  
• The burst of sweet juices inundating your mouth as you bite into an orange slice; the dribble that escapes down your chin.
  
• The pounding of your heart, the pit in your belly, the clank of the chain as you crest a hill on a roller coaster; the involuntary scream ripped from you as you plummet down that hill.
  
• The soft blanket that wraps around your heart when you sleep in someone's arms.
  
• The evaporation of your stress as a hot shower pounds your back and shoulders, willing you to relax.
  
• The thrill of the sound of someone you have missed calling your name.
  
• The reckless abandonment into dance and song when your favorite song comes on and you know no one is looking.
  
• The symphony of smells and grumble of your stomach as you walk in the door on Thanksgiving Day.
  

 
Part of this life "lived abundantly" means partaking in life with awareness. It means being present for the sensations it was meant to give you. It means listening to your body, and feeding it's five senses by being in it.
 
Awareness, also known as being in the now, being focused, or being present, is necessary if you want to balance yourself, and essential if you want to love your body the way it longs to be loved. But how do you attain awareness? You get out of your head.
 
Do you find yourself unable to sleep, because you can't quit thinking? Do your friends have to call your name several times before getting your attention, because you are so lost in thought? The truth is, most people spend the grand majority of time in their heads. They are thinking about the past, the future, resentments, fantasies, you name it. But they are not here. They are not thinking about the now, and they are letting the present moment pass them by. They are halfway asleep.

 It is like God has prepared for us a feast, and he has called it life. But instead of sitting down to eat it, we mistook it for a fast food restaurant and asked to get it to go. We just weren't willing to slow down enough to take it in and savor every bite. We weren't willing to acknowledge the love put into it or the blessings that it offers. It's sad, really.

And where is God, anyway? Is he in the past, the future or the now? Since the past and future are mere figments of our imagination at this point, then God is here and now. Where are you?

When you live in the now, aware of God, aware of the world around you, and inundated with the abundance God promised, then your awareness of your body becomes something attainable. You begin to listen to it in a different way, to love it tenderly, and thus to heal from the damage done by years of neglect.
 
So how can you become more aware? Next Monday I will share with you one of many ways to practice awareness. The more it is practiced, the easier it becomes to dwell in it, and abide in God, who lives in the now. He is the Great Physician, and when you decide to start practicing his presence, the healing begins.

"I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, and my soul knows it very well" Ps 139:14

What does this verse reveal about us, and about how we should view our bodies? When it says we are fearfully made, in other words, made in such a way as to inspire awe, does it not tell us something about our worth? We are a masterpiece created by the greatest artist there is. When it says we are wonderfully made, do we believe it? Do we believe we are wonderful? Perhaps, if we are talking on a scientific level, we can agree. The atoms, cells, DNA, complicated systems of circulation, digestion, nerves--it's all very impressive. It inspires awe. It is wonderful.

But don't think of it on a scientific level. Just explore your gut reaction. What emotion emits from you when you are told your body is wonderful? That it inspires awe? Or even more shocking, that it is a work of God, a great masterpiece? And it is only half of the equation, for we have not even explored the nature and beauty of your soul! But, sticking to the topic here, do you believe it? Do you think your body is good?

When I consider the relationship I have had with my body most of my life, I feel like it was almost absent. Like I was trying my hardest to pretend my body wasn't there. At a very young age, I took hold of the message that your body must remain covered in front of others and assigned it more meaning than it was meant to convey. I thought my body must remain covered because it was shameful. I avoided looking at myself. I covered myself at all times, except when it wasn't possible because I was bathing. I had no desire to run around stark naked with the sheer joy of being alive egging me forward, as many toddlers and young children do. My mother told me once that from the time I was four, I wouldn't let anyone in the bathroom with me, ever. She never said my body was shameful, and neither had anyone else. The people around me were only trying to instill modesty and propriety. But in my little head, I had added on meaning where there wasn't any, and it messed with my life for years to come.

After I was married, I began to explore the concept of my body maybe not being my enemy. I talked with my husband a lot about the topic, and he informed me that my thinking was twisted. That my body was beautiful, that I should not be ashamed of it. It was hard to believe him. I was hard-wired to believe otherwise.

Another big step out from under the lie happened from observing my children. I have four, and not one of them skipped the stage I described earlier. They equated a lack of clothing with freedom! Their little faces were full of mischief and bliss if they could escape my grasp after they bathed and take off across the house. Watching them, something inside me began to heal. I could tell, deep down in my soul, that they were right. Their bodies were wonderful, beautiful, and meant to be celebrated. And that meant mine was, too.

Our bodies are a gift. Consider this well-known verse in a new light: "You shall love your neighbor as yourself" Mat 22:39. Do you think that Jesus meant we should not love our neighbors all that much, just a little? No, we understand we are to love them profoundly--unconditionally. Jesus calls us even to love our enemies. He loved us without reservation, and that's how He wants us to behave towards our neighbors.
But don't forget the second part: as yourself. Jesus assumes that His listeners have a profound love for themselves. And He doesn't declare that conceit or self-centeredness. He points to it as an example of how we should love others. A normal love for self, from God's point of view, is a profound and unconditional one. But that's not how we treat ourselves, is it?

Imagine for a moment that we started treating our neighbor as we actually treat ourselves. If our neighbor told us they were hungry, we would tell them to skip a meal, because they had more important things to do. If they told us they were full, we would keep stuffing food down their throats because it tastes good. If they said they were exhausted, we would hand them a cup of coffee and yet another task. If they said they were sad, we would tell them that wasn't important and we didn't have time to think about it, so take this pill and call us in the morning.

The continual message that many of us send to our bodies is that they are unimportant, flawed, ugly, fat, shameful, dirty, you name it. When we look at ourselves, we focus on the flaws. Too many zits. Too many stretch marks. Ears that are too big, feet that are too big, a nose that's too big. Too top heavy, too bottom heavy. Broken, and needing to be fixed.

But what does a tender, loving relationship with our bodies look like? I'll tell you next time, because my body says it's tired. Time for bed.

The year was 1990. My husband Brent was a twenty-year-old college student who hadn't yet met me. His friends Charlene and Harold were a young married couple who attended an Evangelical mega-church. Brent himself was Catholic, and this had his friends worried. They had heard a lot from their pastor and other church authorities about Catholicism. Did Brent have a personal relationship with Jesus? It was hard to tell with those Catholics. So, feeling called by the Great Commission itself, they invited Brent to their mega-church in hopes of saving his very soul.

Brent was aware of their motivations, but agreed to attend to show good will. He had no idea just how far the plot would go. After the service, per a secretly pre-arranged plan, they brought the pastor to meet Brent in the foyer of the mega church.

"Skip, we'd like you to meet our friend, Brent. He's a Catholic," they said.

Brent only had a split second to wonder why his Catholicism had been brought up before fire and brimstone started to be flung onto his head. The pastor began hollering at him phrases like, "Did you know that you worship Mary and think the Pope never sins? Did you know that you have replaced the Gospel with works-salvation? Did you know that your bowing before statues is idolatry? Did you know you believe that you eat God? Answer all this!" The barrage went on and on, as a crowd of some sixty churchgoers formed a circle around the two figures. Having never before considered or heard of such topics, Brent was confused and whimpered "...I don't believe those things."  The pastor flung a final stinging attack with slow measured words "Yes, you do!  You go read your catechism and tell me that you don't!"

Needless to say, Brent came away from that experience hurt. It kindled in him a desire to be able to defend his heritage, his church, or at least his spiritual self. Over the next ten years Brent gained the relevant knowledge. He studied theologians, historians, original languages, ancient Christian writings, and read the bible cover to cover repeatedly. He mastered the doctrinal distinctions between Christian churches, and the reasons behind those distinctions.

Throughout the journey, Brent had frequent opportunities for in-person or online discussions with Christians who had inter-denominational axes to grind. The objections and attacks he encountered were allegedly motivated by the quest for doctrinal truth, but what he found is that all too often the real motivation was just a love of war. Whether coming from Catholics or Protestants, too much of the debate was devoid of love. Brent concluded that most of these problems between Christians came from Christians serving themselves rather than serving God and his people.

Certainly we should feel called to challenge or correct our brethren (Pro 27:17, 1 Cor 5:12), but those precepts are subordinate to our need to accept each other in Christ and be one body. Read these verses from Jesus's prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane:

Indeed we are not fulfilling Christ's plea, and that makes it harder for the world to discern what Jesus had hoped for: "that you have sent me and loved them". In Brent's story, the titles "Catholic" and "Evangelical" are irrelevant. Animosity between and among Christians because of differences in doctrine abound, and it is not limited to one label or a subset of them. It is easy to see why a person might get caught up in such discussions. The desire to seek truth runs through humanity as a common thread, but in the end what truth really is can be hard to pin down. Absolute truth, in all its splendor, is only known fully by God himself, and although he has revealed a great deal of it to us, we still, "see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known" 1 Cor 13:12. So it is no wonder that we often come to different conclusions.

But we all agree on Jesus Christ as the source and cause of our salvation.

Earlier in the Prayer of the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus tells us the purpose of his coming and how to obtain eternal life:
"Father, the hour has come; glorify your Son that the Son may glorify you, since you have given him authority over all flesh, to give eternal life to all whom you have given him. And this is eternal life, that they know you the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent" Jn 17:1b-3.

And that, my brothers and sisters, is the gist of it. It's what is important. It makes us one.

So, even though oneness is the sincere desire of the heart of the Savior--indeed something he prayed for as his last prayer on earth, while sweating drops of blood in his earnestness--we have ignored him. Instead, we have twisted something good -- seeking truth -- into something bad -- division. And not only division, but division made with dissension, rivalry and enmity, resulting in endless strife. All of which Paul describes as "fruit of the flesh":

Let me repeat that for you, "those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God". People who seek to condemn others for their beliefs don't get it. "There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus" Rom 8:1. It is like they missed the second half of 1 Peter 3:15. They heard, "but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you" and left out, "yet do it with gentleness and respect".

Examine with me Paul's dissertation on the body of Christ:

As it stands now, we are the dismembered body of Christ. We do not suffer together--we make each other suffer. We do not rejoice together, we attack each other. We consider the "other types of Christians" as weaker and less honorable, but that does not create in us a desire to treat them with greater honor or give them equal care. We are like a dysfunctional family who has filed divorce after divorce. Is that how it has to be? Can we agree that Christ is more important than our disagreements? He is in the business of changing hearts. Nothing is impossible with God.

Where do we begin? Perhaps with looking at the gifts the Holy Spirit has given to each of us. I have in my lifetime attended Lutheran, Catholic and Evangelical churches. And while attending them, I have encountered and interacted with Charismatics as well. From each church, I have gathered a world of wealth, wisdom and knowledge that I treasure about the things of God. Here are a few examples:

• From the Lutherans, I learned of Jesus's love for me, developed affection for Bible stories and lost myself in hymns of unsurpassed beauty and depth.
  
• The Catholics were the first to impress on me just how unfathomable is our God, and I developed a reverence and awe of him. They also taught me the concept of the saints as family, how undeserved was the grace I have been given, and how if I were to explore the depths of God, I would never find an end to them.
  
• The Evangelicals made God intimate for me. No matter how huge and holy, they brought home just how close and compassionate he was. They taught me a love of the Word as a living force in my life. They gave me a heart for the unsaved and a desire to serve.
  
• The Charismatics taught me how to listen to the whisper of the Spirit moving in me and respond. With them, I embraced the freedom Christ died to give me.
  

Sure, we disagree. Did we really expect to understand all the revelations of God while we still live? Let us run this good race as a relay team, and finish victoriously. Only at the end of the race will we see truth clearly. But working together, we can show the world that Jesus Christ is from God, and came to give them life, because God loves them. Amen!