Category: Wholeness/Health

A Study of Surrender - Part 2 of 4

3/17/2013

The Mind: The Floating Brain Syndrome

The vast majority of the human race is utterly given over to compulsive thinking. Whether they are playing out some fantasy, worrying over some imagined future, reliving a past event or simply trying to remember what they have to do that day, the typical person has a non-stop diatribe rolling in their heads. In fact, we spend so much time thinking about something other than what we are doing that it could be said we are on automatic pilot. We flit and buzz from place to place, and if nothing interrupts us, we will hardly notice the motions we are going through. We aren't really awake; we aren't really dreaming. It is a stupor and if we stopped doing it we wouldn't know what to do with ourselves.

The whole phenomenon reminds me of the movie Dune, where the members of the Spacing Guild, previously human in form, had so long taken in so much of the rare Spice that they had mutated. The Spice gave them the ability to fold space, that is move between time and space, which made it possible for people from various planets to travel great distances in an instant. But the price they paid is that they now were nothing but floating brains swimming about in large glass containers filled with orange smoke.

I invite you to quit being a floating brain.

The Master tells us:

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind," (Luke 10:27).

But how do you love the Lord with all your mind? If God is the great "I AM", then he is not part of your imagination. However you may conceive of him, it does not contain even half of what he truly is. Not only that, but notice the present tense. "I AM." He's not the great "I WAS" or "I WILL BE" because the only thing that is real is the present. The past is a vague conglomeration of inaccurate memories and the future is fiction and conjecture. Only the present is real, so it makes sense that that is where He is. Of all the attributes he could have chosen as his name, he chose his present existence. But are we in the present? No, we are lost in the labyrinth of our brains.
The first step towards surrendering the mind to God, towards loving him with "all your mind", is to be where he is. Here and now.

The idea that you are your mind is quite common and a lie. Your mind is simply a tool. You are something much more splendid than all those thoughts that plague you - namely, a soul. Yes, your mind is a part of you, but your soul is what lives on when the mind dies.
Many of us long to connect in a more substantial way to God. We know that we are the temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Cor 6:19-20) and that the Master Teacher has said, "But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all the truth," (Jn 16:13). But if we never cultivate silence within ourselves, how will we hear his guidance over all the noise?

Jesus himself tells us how to do this in Matthew 6:6:

“Here’s what I want you to do: Find a quiet, secluded place so you won’t be tempted to role-play before God. Just be there as simply and honestly as you can manage. The focus will shift from you to God, and you will begin to sense his grace."

It can be difficult to quiet the mind, so that is why finding a meditation technique that works for you is so helpful. One of my favorites is to use a breathing verse. Take Psalm 103:1, for example: "Bless the LORD, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name!" As you slowly breathe in, think, "Bless the LORD, O my soul," and as you breathe out, "and all that is within me, bless his holy name!" Let your inhales and exhales be slow and even, and let the verse wash over your mind and clear away any thoughts that intrude. Invite God into the space you make.

But this is just one of many meditation methods. Here is a small sampling of some others:

Focus on the breath
Listen to the sounds of the world around you
Focus on the body and any sensations it gives you
Focus on a word you repeat to yourself, like "Jesus", or "Maranatha" (Greek for, "Come, Lord Jesus!")
Focus on opening the heart

My recommendation is that if you are new to meditation, start off slowly. Try a couple of minutes before you start your day and before you go to bed at night. If you have a prayer and Bible reading routine, work those couple of minutes into the beginning of that. Take time to, "Be still and know that I am God," (Ps. 46:10).

But learning how to quiet the mind and be present with God is only half the equation. God is interested not only in the quantity, but the quality of your thoughts. Consider these words from the Master Teacher:

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell," (Mat 5:27-30).

Jesus uses strong, striking language to convey how serious the sins of the mind are. But how seriously do we take them? It is easy to spend countless hours in the downward spiral of resentful, hateful thoughts and justify it because we believe the other person to be wrong. Or to let our lust lead us down a path of fantasy because we lie to ourselves and say we are sinning in secret. It is equally easy to claim victimhood as our identity, holding onto depression and despair like they are desirable. Christ died on the cross to set us free from slavery to such thoughts. We need to claim that victory!

"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will," (Rom 12:2).

"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things," (Phil 4:8).

"We take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ," (2 Cor 10:3).

You may long to connect to God. How can you hear what he has to say when there is a cacophony of thoughts in your mind? And how can he show you his good, pleasing and perfect will when it is your ego and its desires running the show? Love him with all of your mind by giving time to him in stillness and by putting to test every thought that arises. Then you will connect with the God who came to Earth so that you may be transformed, heart, soul, strength and -- by his grace -- mind.

A Study of Surrender - part 1 0f 4

2/3/2013

In a culture built on independence, the word surrender isn't a positive one. And although independence is quite healthy in many ways, sometimes it can mask the human need for others. In all things we need balance, and when we refuse to ever reach out for help, we can do ourselves a great deal of harm. But no harm quite so great comes from stubborn independence as that of losing our souls. The very act of repentance and a surrender of our will to be subordinate to God's can be so counter-intuitive to some that they refuse to ever do it. It is like they conjure in their minds an image of putting up a white flag and giving in to the enemy. Yet freedom, another celebrated American virtue, is not possible without surrender.

Even for those who have taken the outstretched hand of God and found freedom in Christ, we hold back a total surrender of the self. Pieces of our hearts, minds, souls and physical bodies are left under our control; we don't want to face whatever fear or work giving them up might entail. But, we know, because of the conviction of the Spirit at home within us, that we are called to a total surrender. God wants our love in heart, mind, soul and strength, no holding back.

'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind' Luke 10:27

If you look at the above verse, named by the Master as the Greatest Commandment, it can seem a little one-sided. But, from personal experience, I can tell you truly: with each bit of yourself you succeed in handing over, a flood of love comes back from the other side. A person fully surrendered to God is a person full of the love of God, who cannot help but spill that love onto all that he/she meets. A life lived abundantly is a life of surrender. Surrender is not only a positive word, but a word that can change your life in the most profound way possible.

In this four-part series, we will study how to surrender in love every part of the self. As Jesus said, "If you love me, you will keep my commandments" (Jn 14:15) and the Greatest Commandment should be foremost on the list. Our surrender of will to his perfect will is not always straightforward. When considering this topic, we usually dwell on the decisions we make. But it can be more subtle. It can be in the attitude of the heart, the thoughts inundating our minds, the disposition of the soul, and the way we treat our bodies.

The Heart: Deal with What You Feel

Emotions are a compass for the soul. They are there to communicate with us whether or not we are on a path to life or death. Whether love or hate, peace or fear, hope or despair, they are expressing to us the depravity or health of our souls. We have a natural desire to be rid of negative emotions and seek out what would cause the positive ones--what is commonly described as the pursuit of happiness. And because of this, we have a chance at discovering God, the origin of good. Emotions, like much of creation, help us to achieve the purpose for which we were all created: unity with God.

Unfortunately, emotions get little respect in this society that has long been driven by logic and the left brain. They are considered almost as if they were a pest; like something to eradicate. The impression can be left that they have no use except to disrupt what would otherwise be a smooth-sailing life.

My daughter recently came to me with overwhelming emotions and an inability to deal with them. In trying to help her process them, I gave her this analogy:

Consider emotions to be like a classroom full of middle-schoolers--the most emotional creatures imaginable--and you are their teacher. One by one they start to raise their hands, wanting to be heard. But there's not much time left and you want to get finished with your lesson. You are trying to ignore them.

Fear wants to tell you she's not sure she can remember all this for the test.
Anger needs you to know that the test is unfair.
Urgency wants to go to the bathroom.
Impatience wants to know what time they can all go home.
Frustration feels like he will never understand what you're saying.
Boredom wishes you'd talk about something interesting.
Bitterness is still upset about the grade you gave her last time.
And Hatred can't stand school to begin with.

Attempting to ignore all the upraised hands is futile. The more emotions are ignored, the harder it is to deal with everyday life. They get piled up and backlogged, and eventually cause some kind of breakdown--whether it is mental or physical. If the heart cannot be heard, its influence will leak over into a part of you which you cannot ignore. In the end, we have to deal with our emotions.

Society gives us self-help books, meditative techniques, psychologists, drugs, etc, to help us feel better about our emotions. And it encourages ignoring the emotions by giving us an endless array of distractions on the television, computer, phones, tablets, etc. Often people will fall into addictions to try and assuage their ailing hearts: drugs, alcohol, sex, video games… the list goes on and on. But like Paul said of love in 2 Corinthians 12:31, "And now I will show you the most excellent way."

Stop what you are doing for a minute and let each have their say, one by one. And then, as you are hearing them out, make an offering of them to God.

I taught my daughter this meditation to help her deal with her overwhelming emotions:

Find a quiet place and turn your awareness inward.
Breathe deeply and sink below your thoughts, pretending that you are lying in a grassy field and your thoughts are clouds floating overhead. You observe the thoughts, but you are not participating in them.
Get in touch with your heart as a separate entity from your mind, so that you can feel your emotions without exploring their origins.
As they come, feel them with all of your might, without placing on them any restraint. Let them out, let them go, let them have their say until they are done. If that means crying, screaming, stomping your feet, hugging a pillow, or just sitting and feeling, then do that.
Imagine that they are emanating from you, going out in every direction, and being absorbed by God.
You will find that as an emotion is heard, it dissipates. Ask God to place a blessing in the space it leaves behind. You will begin to experience, "the peace of God, which transcends all understanding," that, "will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Phil 4:7

It is important to let go of thoughts about the emotion's origin. When we get wrapped up in such thoughts, they generate more of the emotion we are trying to hear out. Thoughts are more capable of giving birth to negative emotions than anything else. There is a time and a place for talking things out so that you can avoid the situations that will cause more of the negative emotion. But that is not the exercise we are attempting here. We just want our emotions to have a voice so that they can be dissolved.

Some emotions are strong and deeply rooted. They may be from traumatic past experiences or long-held resentments and sadness. It may take more than one session like this for them to pass. But doing this for even a couple of minutes a day will eventually get you through them.

God wants us to willingly share with him how we feel. He knows all things, but he still desires us to share with him because we are his children. If one of your own children was never willing to share with you their feelings, would you not consider that relationship to be fundamentally broken? But we have a God who is not only a willing listener, but a healer of hearts.
So lay bare your heart before the Lord. As Proverbs 38:8-9 puts it:

8 I am feeble and utterly crushed;
I groan in anguish of heart.
9 All my longings lie open before you, Lord;
my sighing is not hidden from you.

And again in Romans 8:26:

26 Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.

And rest in the assurance that a surrender of the heart to God's love will result in healing, peace and joy.

"Those who trust God's action in them find that God's Spirit is in them—living and breathing God! Obsession with self in these matters is a dead end; attention to God leads us out into the open, into a spacious, free life." Rm 8:6

The Body Bag: Part 4 of 4

2/6/2012

So far in the Body Bag series, we have been laying a firm foundation. We have established that a love of ourselves, neither inflating nor deflating our importance, is commanded in Scripture: "Love your neighbor as yourself" Luke 10:27b. We have affirmed that care of the body is an essential element in obeying that command, since the body is not only a part of ourselves, but also a God-breathed creation and the temple of the Holy Spirit. We have practiced awareness of the world around us and soaked up the blessings it offers with our five senses. This awareness led us to a heart full of thanksgiving for the richness of the life God has provided us, and the wonderful bodies he has given us so we can experience that richness. The foundation is indeed set. Now we are ready to build upon it.

To bring physical health to the body, we must listen to its voice and understand its relationship with the other voices vying for our attention. The body has needs. It needs rest, it needs good food, it needs to move and be active. Our first job in falling in love with our bodies is to listen to and meet those needs.

When a baby is born, it has only one way to convey it's needs: by crying. At first, the mother and other caretakers may be confused as to what need is being expressed. But, because of their love and compassion for that child, because of their awareness of what a precious gift it is, they take special care in deciphering the cries. It does not even occur to them to do otherwise. Soon, they know what the baby will want next before it makes a single sound!

Our bodies are the same. As we first turn our awareness to them, and listen to what they are saying, we may not be able to decipher clearly the need. Sometimes, a want may be taken for a need, like when we crave sugar. But as we grow in understanding, we become able to anticipate and meet the needs efficiently. And an incredible thing begins to happen. We feel love and compassion in our physical self that starts to translate into a love for the whole self.

But we are not simply bodies. We are also minds, hearts, and souls. If you only listen to your body, and think that dieting and exercise alone will make you whole, you will find yourself unable to achieve it. How can we bring complete physical health to a body whose mental health or emotional health is broken?

Each of these aspects has its own voice and set of needs. Although we make clear distinctions between these "parts" of ourselves, the reality is much hazier. What we choose to think about affects our emotions, which in turn affects our physical health and the state of our souls. If we bury our emotions, block our thoughts, and ignore our souls, we end up with disease in our bodies. We cannot separate the elements which make us up. If you want physical health, you must go for whole-person health.

We also run into another problem, and that is our humanity. I heard said once, "Statistically speaking, three out of three people are broken." We are not perfect. Our souls are tarnished with the taint of sin, and that taint spreads to affect the whole self. And when we try to achieve whole-person health by relying on self-help books, yoga gurus, self-actualization classes and the like, we will never get there.
So how do we become whole?

The Great Physician himself, the one who commanded us to love our neighbor as ourselves to begin with, preceded that command with an even more important one: "He answered, ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’" Luke 10:27a. Notice that the command includes every aspect of the self. When you love God with all you are, the healing begins. Listen to this verse from Mat 13:15:

For the hearts of these people are hardened,
and their ears cannot hear,
and they have closed their eyes—
so their eyes cannot see,
and their ears cannot hear,
and their hearts cannot understand,
and they cannot turn to me
and let me heal them.

Of course while wholeness in Christ of mind, body, heart, and soul is the basis of well-being, it is still not a gaurantee of health. Many have pursued Christ with their all, and have still encountered tribulation in such things as diabetees and cancer. We must always remember that while we are not to be of the world, we are still in the world - an occupational hazard indeed. Our modern life bombards us with substances and physics (e.g. electomagnetics) having consequences we still do not understand. But the principles of wellness apply even if our health greatly deteriorates. We are all destined one day to die (Hebrews 9:27), which means we must approach any deterioation with the same balance of mind, body, heart, and soul that we sought while in health. No matter what, in Christ we have the peace that surpasses all understanding (Phil 4:7).

So what happens when we turn to God? He heals us. What happens when we don't? We cannot be healed. Through the sacrifice of his Son, he cleanses all souls who believe. And then, step by step through the work of his Spirit, he reclaims our whole health. With him, we can bring resolution and peace to the troubles of our past. We can bring trust in to replace our fear of the future. We can undo what sin has done to our now. As he burns away what is not us, he leaves behind what truly is us. Consider the story of Moses:

Now Moses was keeping the flock of his father-in-law, Jethro, the priest of Midian, and he led his flock to the west side of the wilderness and came to Horeb, the mountain of God. And the angel of the LORD appeared to him in a flame of fire out of the midst of a bush. He looked, and behold, the bush was burning, yet it was not consumed. And Moses said, "I will turn aside to see this great sight, why the bush is not burned." When the LORD saw that he turned aside to see, God called to him out of the bush, "Moses, Moses!" And he said, "Here I am." Then he said, "Do not come near; take your sandals off your feet, for the place on which you are standing is holy ground." And he said, "I am the God of your father, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob." And Moses hid his face, for he was afraid to look at God (Ex 3:1-6.)

Moses had the awesome experience of seeing the burning bush, of encountering the Spirit of God. You have the awesome experience of being the burning bush. When you accept Christ as your Savior, you become the dwelling place of God's Spirit. Just like the bush, it sets you aflame but never consumes you. Because you are God's temple--his burning bush--anywhere you walk is holy ground.

But being on fire is a purifying experience. Our God, in his great love for us, works ceaselessly to grow us into Christlikeness. Consider these scriptures:

"And the Lord—who is the Spirit—makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image" 2 Cor 3:18b.
"And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns" Phil 1:6.
"For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him" Phil 2:13.
"It stands to reason, doesn't it, that if the alive-and-present God who raised Jesus from the dead moves into your life, he'll do the same thing in you that he did in Jesus, bringing you alive to himself? When God lives and breathes in you (and he does, as surely as he did in Jesus), you are delivered from that dead life" Rom 8:11.

The more open we are to letting God move in every aspect of our being, the more purification can take place. Sin and its effects can be eradicated. Let no part of you be left out. Open every door you've locked to the different and various skeletons in your closets.
When we give him our whole self, we find that what we receive is a whole self in return: "Then Jesus said to his disciples, 'Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it'" Mat 16:24-25. By being dedicated fully to him in love, his purpose is fulfilled in us: "I came that they may have life and have it abundantly" Jn 10:10b. He delivers us from the reign of sin in every way:

Mentally, so we can, "take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ" 2 Cor 10:5.
Emotionally, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest" Mat 11:28.
Spiritually, "So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed" John 8:36.
Physically, "Your body will glow with health, your very bones will vibrate with life!" Prov 3:8. (MSG)

So, love yourself as you would your neighbor: Live within your body, and soak up the richness of life. Listen to its voice: feed it what brings it ease, clothe it comfortably, give it adequate rest and love it by moving it. The results of the neglect up until now will begin to be reversed. And most importantly, do it all in the power of the living, breathing God, who will work in you to heal you. Practice his Presence. Listen, abide and obey, for without him, "you can do nothing" Jn 15:5. Until which day you are whole, and he sends you forth to tell the world about the good he has done in you, saying:

"Go, for your faith has healed you" Mark 10:52.

The Body Bag: Part 3 of 4

1/30/2012

Now that I've explained that it takes living life with awareness to live it abundantly, it only makes sense that I teach you how to attain awareness.

It will help you to know that you've already attained it, on several occasions. Anytime you are fully in the moment, you are living with awareness. Very stimulating experiences will sometimes capture our complete attention, whether they are positive or negative. If you have ever witnessed the birth of a baby, for instance, you probably were not lost in thought at the moment that that new life entered the world. It is enthralling. Take your memory of any significant event in your life, and you will be able to see it in your mind's eye and recall it's vivid nature. But even insignificant events can be experienced in this way. It's only a matter of practicing awareness, and you will be able to call yourself back to the now at will.

My husband is fond of saying, "There are two inscriptions on the temple of Delphi: 'Know Thyself' and 'Nothing in Excess'." (What's ironic is that he quotes it so often that he is doing it in excess!) And there's a good reason he likes those inscriptions: a wellspring of wisdom is found in those two simple lines. Before you become familiar with what it means to be aware, know yourself. No one is capable of living in the now and never getting lost in thought. So, be easy on yourself. Your mind is not the enemy. It's part of your life just as much as any other member of your body or moment in your journey. Yet, it can have a tendency to want to take over. And that's where "Nothing in Excess" comes in. If there is anything our mind wants to do in excess, it's think. Not that I have anything against thinking. It is most definitely what our minds should be doing. But life is not only about thinking.

There are many options here. Some people find they come into focus by exercising. Some by thinking through a challenging problem. Some by prayer, or meditation. Some by adrenaline rush. They may not realize that their experience has a name--awareness--but they are addicted to the activity that brings it to them. When they do it, they feel more alive.

Below is a Christian meditation I have put together to help you become more aware. Note that meditation has always been a spiritual discipline of the Christian church. Meditating on scripture or being still and resting in God are both valid forms of Christian prayer. If you practice the following, it will help you become familiar with what it feels like to have a calm, quiet mind. Then, whenever you think of it, come back to that calmness and allow yourself to be immersed in your present experience of life.

The Bliss Meditation
(Listen to this as a podcast)

Find a calm spot to sit, where you will not be disturbed.
Sit up comfortably and relax you hands into your lap.
Close your eyes. Listen.
Focus on your breath. Inhale through the nose deeply. Fill up your belly completely before filling up your rib cage. Then exhale from both evenly. Let each breath grow long and steady. This will signal to your body that it is time to relax.
Thoughts may try to invade. Do not resist them, but rather think of them as clouds floating by. They belong there, but they don't need your attention. If one happens to grab hold of you for a moment, do not fret. Instead, calmly return to the breath and let the thought pass you by.
Think about your body. Does any part of it have something to say to you? Is there discomfort? Hunger? Thirst? Are you sleepy? Let your body express itself to you, and observe it. If there is discomfort, imagine sending the breath to that part of the body as you inhale and exhale.
What emotions did you bring to this space? Think on them now. Observe whether or not you are happy, sad, angry, frustrated, or maybe feeling something you cannot name. Pretend your emotions are a captivating storyteller and you are the enraptured audience. Let them fully express themselves to you. Not in concrete thoughts nor by exploring their origins. Just let them be felt.
Return to the breath. Inhale and exhale a few times, then open your eyes. Notice the space around you. Notice the clarity and crispness of the tangible items in the room. Notice how you could predict how each would feel if you touched it, or how each would smell. You could even predict how they would taste! Realize that you are surrounded by a treasure trove of sensate experiences waiting to happen, and some that are happening to you now.
Now that you are still, inside and out, invite God into this space. You can use a familiar scripture or say a prayer, however you want to do it. I suggest repeating this prayer, which is a variation on Ps 104:30: "Lord send forth your Spirit, and renew the face of the earth." Repeat it as often as you feel like, and then sit with God awhile.
Give up to him your thoughts, feelings, emotions or whatever comes your way. Be open to the movement of his Spirit. "Be still and know that I am God." Ps 46:10. When you feel you have finished, end with Amen.

It helps to remember the word BLISS. B is for Breathe. L is for Let your thoughts float by. I is for Investigate how your body is feeling and the emotions you brought with you. S is for Sense the world around you. And the last S is for Send up prayer, inviting God into the experience.
Equipped with a tool that helps you practice awareness, you can now go out into the world and experience it fully. But there is an entire world within you calling out, begging you to notice it. Are you aware of the different voices of the self vying for your attention? How do you take a body whose voices have been stuffed, ignored and stifled for so long, and allow it to live the life abundant? How do you fall in love with it? Let's go inward, let's dig deep.

It's a whole new world.

Body bag: Part 2 of 4

1/23/2012

To have a healthy relationship with your body, first you must realize that your body is not just a bag of bones. It is a home for your soul connected by the portal of your consciousness. It is a God-breathed being and a temple of the Holy Spirit. It is the warm, safe womb in which your eternal self grows and develops, until that day it is birthed into life everlasting.

Because our body is temporary, I made the mistake of thinking of it as being unimportant. In fact, I wrote off the whole world that way. My thought was that unity with God in everlasting bliss was my goal, and I just had to hang out here in this mortal body bag until death came around to bring me to where the real party was.

This is a common pitfall in Christianity. It's easy to take the Christian teaching of how one should focus on God and store up our treasures in heaven, and twist it until the blessings that God is showering on us here are not even noticed.

Jesus said, "I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly." Jn 10:10b

He didn't mean that we'd only have an abundant life in heaven. If he meant that, he would have said that. He meant, rather, that a life lived in relationship with God can be a life lived abundantly. So why are we not taking advantage? Why are we not seeing the richness around us? Where is this life abundant that he promised?

Perhaps it is in front of our faces and we're not noticing. In order to help you notice, I have compiled a list of sensations for you.

Stop what you are feeling.

Go through the list slowly, and after each entry pause and recall the richness of the sensation.

The island of a warm drink in the sea of a cold morning.
The compulsion to tears and convulsions of the belly as someone tickles you.
The gentle caress of a cool breeze lighting up the sweat on your body like prickles of ice.
The exhilarating shock and complete embrace of a pool of water when you jump in.
The burst of sweet juices inundating your mouth as you bite into an orange slice; the dribble that escapes down your chin.
The pounding of your heart, the pit in your belly, the clank of the chain as you crest a hill on a roller coaster; the involuntary scream ripped from you as you plummet down that hill.
The soft blanket that wraps around your heart when you sleep in someone's arms.
The evaporation of your stress as a hot shower pounds your back and shoulders, willing you to relax.
The thrill of the sound of someone you have missed calling your name.
The reckless abandonment into dance and song when your favorite song comes on and you know no one is looking.
The symphony of smells and grumble of your stomach as you walk in the door on Thanksgiving Day.

Part of this life "lived abundantly" means partaking in life with awareness. It means being present for the sensations it was meant to give you. It means listening to your body, and feeding it's five senses by being in it.

Awareness, also known as being in the now, being focused, or being present, is necessary if you want to balance yourself, and essential if you want to love your body the way it longs to be loved. But how do you attain awareness? You get out of your head.

Do you find yourself unable to sleep, because you can't quit thinking? Do your friends have to call your name several times before getting your attention, because you are so lost in thought? The truth is, most people spend the grand majority of time in their heads. They are thinking about the past, the future, resentments, fantasies, you name it. But they are not here. They are not thinking about the now, and they are letting the present moment pass them by. They are halfway asleep.

It is like God has prepared for us a feast, and he has called it life. But instead of sitting down to eat it, we mistook it for a fast food restaurant and asked to get it to go. We just weren't willing to slow down enough to take it in and savor every bite. We weren't willing to acknowledge the love put into it or the blessings that it offers. It's sad, really.

And where is God, anyway? Is he in the past, the future or the now? Since the past and future are mere figments of our imagination at this point, then God is here and now. Where are you?

When you live in the now, aware of God, aware of the world around you, and inundated with the abundance God promised, then your awareness of your body becomes something attainable. You begin to listen to it in a different way, to love it tenderly, and thus to heal from the damage done by years of neglect.

So how can you become more aware? Next Monday I will share with you one of many ways to practice awareness. The more it is practiced, the easier it becomes to dwell in it, and abide in God, who lives in the now. He is the Great Physician, and when you decide to start practicing his presence, the healing begins.

The Body Bag: Part 1 of 4

1/16/2012

"I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, and my soul knows it very well" Ps 139:14

What does this verse reveal about us, and about how we should view our bodies? When it says we are fearfully made, in other words, made in such a way as to inspire awe, does it not tell us something about our worth? We are a masterpiece created by the greatest artist there is. When it says we are wonderfully made, do we believe it? Do we believe we are wonderful? Perhaps, if we are talking on a scientific level, we can agree. The atoms, cells, DNA, complicated systems of circulation, digestion, nerves--it's all very impressive. It inspires awe. It is wonderful.

But don't think of it on a scientific level. Just explore your gut reaction. What emotion emits from you when you are told your body is wonderful? That it inspires awe? Or even more shocking, that it is a work of God, a great masterpiece? And it is only half of the equation, for we have not even explored the nature and beauty of your soul! But, sticking to the topic here, do you believe it? Do you think your body is good?

When I consider the relationship I have had with my body most of my life, I feel like it was almost absent. Like I was trying my hardest to pretend my body wasn't there. At a very young age, I took hold of the message that your body must remain covered in front of others and assigned it more meaning than it was meant to convey. I thought my body must remain covered because it was shameful. I avoided looking at myself. I covered myself at all times, except when it wasn't possible because I was bathing. I had no desire to run around stark naked with the sheer joy of being alive egging me forward, as many toddlers and young children do. My mother told me once that from the time I was four, I wouldn't let anyone in the bathroom with me, ever. She never said my body was shameful, and neither had anyone else. The people around me were only trying to instill modesty and propriety. But in my little head, I had added on meaning where there wasn't any, and it messed with my life for years to come.

After I was married, I began to explore the concept of my body maybe not being my enemy. I talked with my husband a lot about the topic, and he informed me that my thinking was twisted. That my body was beautiful, that I should not be ashamed of it. It was hard to believe him. I was hard-wired to believe otherwise.

Another big step out from under the lie happened from observing my children. I have four, and not one of them skipped the stage I described earlier. They equated a lack of clothing with freedom! Their little faces were full of mischief and bliss if they could escape my grasp after they bathed and take off across the house. Watching them, something inside me began to heal. I could tell, deep down in my soul, that they were right. Their bodies were wonderful, beautiful, and meant to be celebrated. And that meant mine was, too.

Our bodies are a gift. Consider this well-known verse in a new light: "You shall love your neighbor as yourself" Mat 22:39. Do you think that Jesus meant we should not love our neighbors all that much, just a little? No, we understand we are to love them profoundly--unconditionally. Jesus calls us even to love our enemies. He loved us without reservation, and that's how He wants us to behave towards our neighbors.
But don't forget the second part: as yourself. Jesus assumes that His listeners have a profound love for themselves. And He doesn't declare that conceit or self-centeredness. He points to it as an example of how we should love others. A normal love for self, from God's point of view, is a profound and unconditional one. But that's not how we treat ourselves, is it?

Imagine for a moment that we started treating our neighbor as we actually treat ourselves. If our neighbor told us they were hungry, we would tell them to skip a meal, because they had more important things to do. If they told us they were full, we would keep stuffing food down their throats because it tastes good. If they said they were exhausted, we would hand them a cup of coffee and yet another task. If they said they were sad, we would tell them that wasn't important and we didn't have time to think about it, so take this pill and call us in the morning.

The continual message that many of us send to our bodies is that they are unimportant, flawed, ugly, fat, shameful, dirty, you name it. When we look at ourselves, we focus on the flaws. Too many zits. Too many stretch marks. Ears that are too big, feet that are too big, a nose that's too big. Too top heavy, too bottom heavy. Broken, and needing to be fixed.

But what does a tender, loving relationship with our bodies look like? I'll tell you next time, because my body says it's tired. Time for bed.

Couch Potato Unicorns

1/2/2012

Our culture has reserved a special place in the imagination for unicorns. The unicorn and the concepts behind it reveal a deep spiritual perfection. A unicorn is a shining, splendid creature of beauty; the pristine picture of innocence; it is glorious but shy, strong yet meek; it is filled with grace--it encompasses all of the good and none of the bad. It even has the one thing were all looking for and have a near impossible time locating: a wealth of magic.

If you were to imagine encountering one somewhere deep within a forest, you would see how it would make everything around it seem dim in comparison. When it looked at you, you would see in its eyes an intelligence beyond your own. You would suddenly feel the fleeting nature of your mortality. You would know that its hidden life was the complete fulfillment of its purpose. That it lacked nothing.

Lets stretch your mind. Metaphorically speaking, your soul is like a unicorn. Somewhere deep inside, deeper than your hurts and past, deeper than your imperfections and consciousness, is an unwavering, immortal self. It was made to be perfect, and placed here to develop: "And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another" (2 Cor 3:18).

But unlike the unicorn, we do not seem to be constantly connected to this. We lack awareness of our worth, our purpose, and the divine. We are unbalanced. Stuck in a physical world, we are confused about what it all means and distracted by promises of "magic" that are only illusions. We do not have spiritual balance. We are spiritually starving.

How would it look if a unicorn became like us? It might be that it would end up on the couch, having lost its sheen and let its powerful
muscles atrophy, drinking a cheap beer and watching endless television. When my husband wants to inspire in my children a desire to become glorious, it's the image of the couch potato unicorn that he uses. How strange to imagine such a creature brought to such a state.

It is possible to be in denial of the spiritual so long that you are no longer in touch with it at all. It is possible to be very in touch with it, but not know. But, the most ideal situation is to know you are in touch with it and the source of it: God.

So how do we achieve this spiritual balance? How do we feed the spirit, as we feed the body? How do we become "enlightened", or discover our purpose? How do we attain glory, beauty, strength, meekness, grace and even "magic"?

Information on the topic can be found in abundance in the first chapter of John:

1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 He was with God in the beginning. 3 Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. 4 In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. 5 The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.
6 There was a man sent from God whose name was John. 7 He came as a witness to testify concerning that light, so that through him all might believe. 8 He himself was not the light; he came only as a witness to the light.
9 The true light that gives light to everyone was coming into the world. 10 He was in the world, and though the world was made through him, the world did not recognize him. 11 He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him. 12 Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God— 13 children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God.
14 The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth. 15 (John testified concerning him. He cried out, saying, “This is the one I spoke about when I said, ‘He who comes after me has surpassed me because he was before me.’”) 16 Out of his fullness we have all received grace in place of grace already given. 17 For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ. 18 No one has ever seen God, but the one and only Son, who is himself God and is in closest relationship with the Father, has made him known.

This passage reveals a "magic" that is not fake: Christ Jesus. And it tells us, on a very spiritual level, his significance. He is:

the Word of God
with God in the beginning
the source of all created things
the dwelling place of life
the light of mankind
unconquerable by darkness
not recognizable by the world
not received by his own
the source of adoption by God
flesh
glorious
grace-filled
truth-filled
the reason we have received grace upon grace
in the closest relationship with the Father
the way to know the Father

Jesus Christ, the Messiah, has the glory, beauty, strength, meekness, grace and even "magic" that we have such a hard time attaining. So, how to we get it, too? How do we become like him? The passage has already told us: "Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God—children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God" (Jn 1:12-13).

Seek out Jesus Christ, and he will give you God. You will be born of God. Let him become the greatest desire of your heart because he is the one who can feed your soul. He will make your glory like that of the unicorn. You will become a reflection of all that he is. Your soul will live in its hidden purpose, united with the source of its life and immortality. And the longer you walk with Christ down the path of your life, the more when people look in your eyes, they will see something beyond what they have. Your eyes will reveal a life they've not touched, a truth they've not heard, an eternal quality they hunger for, an overflowing of grace they long to bathe in.

Get up off the couch.

Food That Satisfies: Part 3 of 3

12/26/2011

Just because something is technically legal doesn't mean that it's spiritually appropriate. If I went around doing whatever I thought I could get by with, I'd be a slave to my whims. You know the old saying, "First you eat to live, and then you live to eat"? Well, it may be true that the body is only a temporary thing, but that's no excuse for stuffing your body
with food, or indulging it with sex. Since the Master honors you with a body, honor him with your body! 1 Cor 6:12-13 (MSG)

Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. 1 Cor 6:19-20

So, what does a healthy relationship with food look like? How do we use food to care for God's "temple"?

From what I can see, the cycle of gaining weight and dieting, gaining weight and dieting is not how God meant us to behave towards His gift of food. Rather, He meant us to use food to love our bodies. Eating too little, too much, too quickly, or without care for the quality of the food causes food to no longer be of full benefit to us. When we overeat, it is no longer loving ourselves and our relationship with food takes on an addictive quality. It's there to numb us from reality. When we diet, it's almost like medieval self-flagellation. We think that the only way to get over our addiction is to punish ourselves until we've made a habit of behaving. What message does that ssend to our bodies, to our subconscious? That we hate ourselves. That there's something wrong with us. That food is a source of bad feelings, of guilt and shame. Do either extremes speak of health and love towards our bodies or thankfulness for the experience of food?

Instead, let us eat this way:

Giving thanks. Not only in an opening blessing, but in your uplifted heart.
Preparing and cleaning up after your food with love and awareness.
Choosing food that instills health.
Indulging in sweets, alcohol, and heavily fatty foods in moderation, with an attitude of celebration.
Not using foods as an escape, but rather working through our pain in self-building ways.
Eating when we are hungry, and stopping when we are not, careful to not stuff ourselves.
Not eating to clean our plate, nor our children's. Eating to be filled, and if it's not possible to store the extras, throw them out.
Listening to our bodies. What do they need right now? Could they really use some protein, or are they craving the vitamins in a salad? Go through the options. Our bodies will tell us what we "feel like" eating.
Eating slowly, taking the time to chew. Put aside time for eating, make it a priority.
Eating with others as much as possible. Let it be a time to meaningfully connect with those around us. Talk! Laugh! Savor our relationships.

Keep in mind that I am not God (of this I am certain), and these are not the ten commandments of eating. Don't stress! Relax. Eating is
supposed to be awesome.

Bon Appetit!

Food That Satisfies: Part 2 of 3

12/19/2011

So how did I go from starving my physical self to having a balanced relationship with it? One step at a time. One need satisfied, but not engorged, at a time. The first being my relationship with physical hunger and food.

Our bodies need food. Our society has trained us to have an unhealthy relationship with it. Generally speaking, a cycle of overeating and dieting is what most people fall into. Of course, I decided to do the opposite. Instead of food becoming a guilty pleasure, I abhorred it. It was a necessary evil. The problem was the time consumption. You had to prepare it, which could take hours, then eat it, then clean up. Even if it was easy to prepare and used few dishes, when I faced the prospect of making yet another meal, I became frustrated. I had believed a lie: that I was a human doing, not a human being. And the stuff I had to do was far more important than eating. Eating was mundane--it was beneath me.

I needed a new perspective. And like many things, God used yoga to give it to me. Yoga is the love of my life. My purpose is to teach it, use it to spread God's love, and to help people to deepen their relationship with Him. And it is balanced. Profoundly physical, profoundly spiritual, it heals all aspects of the self. It was an answer to prayer for me: a prayer for physical health, and a prayer for connection to God. But I was stuck in it. While practicing it at home 5 days a week, I hit a plateau. I could no longer physically progress. And that little whisper, that sweet whisper that is the voice of God told me that I needed to change the way I eat. The soft thought that barely touched my consciousness rang true to me, and I latched on to it. I had to explore this thing I detested: food.

Because yoga came from India, and I trusted yoga, I looked to India to see if there was wisdom about eating that it may have to offer me. I was delighted to find a system of medicine and diet that had roots in ancient India and was still used by many today to find optimum health. It is called Ayurveda. I picked up a book on it, The Ayurvedic Cookbook by Amadea Morningstar and Urmila Desai. These two ingenious women had taken the concepts of Ayurveda and applied them to Western food and culture, so that the diet could be accessible to us.

Ayurveda is nothing like our diets. It is a diet that delicately and tenderly loves our bodies to health by listening and responding to them appropriately. It recognizes that peoples' bodies respond differently to the same foods, and that what may be healing to one may be over- or under-stimulating to another. It speaks of three body types, and how people usually fall into one primary type or
evenly between two. It is rare for them to be all three equally. Then it teaches you how to cook for your body type. What will upset your stomach, what will comfort it. What brings about balance, what unsettles. The book gave lists of ways to not only eat for your body type, but care for it in other ways. For instance, my body type (called Vata) does not like the cold and has a tendency towards dry skin. So, to tenderly care for myself, I bring a sweater to the grocery store to make it through the frozen section and I put lotion on every time I bathe.

I know truth when I sense it, and through this new concept I was sensing it. Ayurveda is about loving our bodies, and food was one of the means. Food is a blessing, meant to nourish and soothe us, meant to place in our mouths a burst of experiences, and in our stomachs a complete satisfaction. There is a reason a dinner table is an explosion of sensations. Smells, colors, textures, tastes--it inundates us with the love of God. It is like, when we sit to eat, He starts off every meal boisterously crying out, "Enjoy!" And then savoring how His creation and our creativity has made for us such a rich blessing. How He cares for us! How He provides! And how sickly I was, to not recognize it, to reject it.

I cannot convey in words the love and relief my body has felt because I have started to listen to it's needs. Each time I become hungry, I go through the foods I have at hand and the meals I'm capable of making and then I let my body decide what to eat. Then I prepare it with care and love, savoring the sensations cooking provides: the feel of a knife chopping an onion, the smell of garlic frying in a pan, the warmth of the oven, the cold of the fridge. Then the act of eating: of slowing down, of conversation, of clanking silverware, of chewing, of deeply breathing. A meal is a rest from our work and a social connection. It should be one of the most looked forward to activities of the day. And the routine of it is so comforting. What is there not to love?

Food That Satisfies: Part 1 of 3

12/12/2011

We are two things, intertwined: spiritual and physical. For a long time, most of my adult life, I have been observing a world full of people who embraced the physical and denied the spiritual. They have forgotten that "Man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD" (Deut 8:3). If they understood their spiritual hunger and how to satisfy it, then they would be in right relationship with that half of themselves. If they understood their physical engorgement, and how they were communicating to themselves a self-loathing by being so gluttonous, then they would be in right relationship with that half of themselves. So why were they doing this to themselves? Starving one half, engorging the other?

I was naturally drawn to all things mystic and divine; I loved God and God experiences. In fact, I so de-emphasized the physical that it created for me this sense of floating inside myself. As if I inhabited my body, but my spirit wanted out so much that it had rammed itself into the top two inches of my head, looking for a way out. This left me feeling like I wasn't grounded; like I was barely here. I lived for spiritual experience, and revered truth as a path to it. Jesus was not just someone I learned about in Church. He was more real to me than the rest of the planet, and I resented being stuck here waiting. Waiting to grow up. Waiting to grow old. Waiting to die. Then, and only then, could I be united with the divine and forever live in spiritual ecstasy. And so I was impatient. Why did it have to take so long?

But, recently, through the gift of grace, I was surprised to learn I was in as much of a fix as the rest of the planet. Yes, I was not one of the people who deny the spiritual, causing a destructive relationship with the physical. But why did I think I was so righteous in comparison, when I had the same problem as them, only the opposite? Favoring the spiritual so much that I was starving myself physically? Who was I to call the physical realm a curse, and my own body a curse, when it was a blessing to be cherished, a gift from God? What was I, anyway, a Gnostic?

So I began to explore how we can be in balance with ourselves. How to love both sides equally, how to feed them both what they needed. What, exactly, was the food that satisfies? "Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and you will delight in the richest of fare" (Isaiah 55:2).